Last Saturday I had quite the night out... babysitting.
It was at this sweet little house in The Hills... Woodland Hills.
Yes, I still babysit on occasion. Please don't judge my means of additional income. You wouldn't mind it either if you had the adorable Samantha in your care. She's well-behaved, funny, smart, and five.
This Saturday was like most, where after her bath we prepared for the Pajama Contest. I really have the opportunity to stretch as an actress, playing the pajama saleslady, stage manager, and Master of Ceremonies. Sam is, simply, the Star.
As the saleslady, I have my British accent and present to her a large selection of pajamas from which she may choose. Will it be the fine silk set from Europe? The show-stopping red velour? I offer her invisible coffee and tea and crumpets while she decides, then fetch her the dazzling pink fleece slippers that are sure to make her the winner.
Soon it's time to start the show. I'm the ultimate stage mother making sure she knows the game plan. Three contestants (she plays all of them, but only one is actually Sam), a talent segment that usually features dancing or gymnastics, the catwalk, and finally the award presentation.
"Ladies and Gentlemen...." The excitement is palpable. "From Woodland Hills, California...." Sam closes her eyes and reviews her ballet routine. "Please welcome the very talented, five year old SAM!" She doesn't miss a beat. Woos the crowd with her fancy footwork, her smile, her poise, and, of course, her pajamas. Finally, Sam bows to the sound of two hands clapping as rapidly as possible.
The next two contestants, Nancy from Seattle and Meredith from Cleveland, can't hold a candle to Sam. The competition is over. I present her award with tears of pride, "Ladies, and gentlemen, for the 13th consecutive week, the contest winner is SAM!!!"
Suddenly, I see the clock on the VCR. 8:24pm. I totally forgot about the Dr. 90210 marathon on E! I interrupt Sam's acceptance speech (truthfully, it was getting a bit long), and usher her to bed.
Next time you're out drinking yourself silly and dreading tomorrow's hangover, remember there's a more wholesome way to spend your Saturday, full of laughter and make-believe.
Once you've had enough of that, reward yourself further by watching teen girls try to fix their low self-esteem with plastic surgery. Oh, yeah.
Today's Coffee Beverage: Nursing a pesky cold with Airborne and Emergen-C.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
You know, in theory this sounds like a really sweet and touching way to spend a Saturday evening. However, I don't know many people that would leave a 5-year old girl alone with a single 33-year old man. The Ramseys of Colorado being a notable exception...
Post a Comment